


Daisies in my Hair

by morning_kisses



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 01:51:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8383261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morning_kisses/pseuds/morning_kisses
Summary: I'm so sorry about the weird format of literally everything.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry about the weird format of literally everything.

I stood in front of my full body mirror. /I look so stupid/ I thought to myself. I smoothed out my yellow sweater with a smile, the white collar of my button up, poking out. I was trying to stay confident. My black skirt kept everything tucked in. With a backpack slung over both of my shoulders I looked himself over one final time. The black knee highs and white keds were likely a bad choice. I liked them though, so I wore them. I inspected my nails, still a nice maroon color from yesterday. The entire outfit was a success. My white lacy panties couldn’t be seen unless a Marilyn Monroe incident were to happen. Off to school I went. I stepped onto the campus and headed for my first class. It was a new class. It being my third year of college, I was used to it. I walked into the small classroom. The class would maybe have 15 to 20 students. Just how I liked it. I looked around and my eyes landed on a gorgeous man. Assuming it was the teacher, I gave him a look-over. Him and I were matching. Yellow must be the theme for this fall day. I chose a seat in the front desk, smoothing my skirt over my lap. As I took out a notebook there was a tap on my shoulder, causing me to jump. I turned to see the most gorgeous pair of eyes. They were attached to my teacher. “I’m Mr. Wesson, and I don’t know if this comes off rude or very polite. I wanna make you feel comfortable, though--” I immediately cut him off. I knew what was coming. “I’m a boy, treat me like one.” I smiled sweetly and gave Mr. Wesson a pat on the cheek. This left the man stunned, and he walked away. My eyes never leaving his butt once I could see it. Today was going to be a rough and unproductive day for me.

\---

The bell rang, signalling that the class was over. I hadn’t been paying attention much until I heard my name being called. “Dean, may I talk with you.” Fuck. “Of course." I stepped towards him, biting my lip. “You were very distracted today? May I ask why?” You. “Just an off day for me, I guess.” I watched him as he scribbled numbers and what appeared to be an email onto a post-it note. “This is my phone number and my email address if you’d like to reach me for notes from today.” I nodded with a small smile. “Thank you Mr. Wesson-” “Sam. Call me Sam. If you have any other questions about anything, just shoot me a text.” I nodded a bit and scampered off to my next class. Little did I know that it was Sam’s turn to do the butt-staring.

\---

I sat on my bed in an over-sized sweater and pair of simple black panties. The post-it note was in my hand. Was it weird to text your teachers? Fuck it. I texted Sam quickly to get the notes. Better now than never.

 

To Sam: Hi. It’s Dean Smith from your first class today. Can I get those notes you told me to ask for?

From Sam: Of course. Give me a minute. I need to get them together for you.

To Sam: Thank you so much.

 

That was a whole lot easier than I thought. I decided to send him a picture of the notes I did take.

 

To Sam: **attached image** These are the notes I have already.

From Sam: That’s an awful lot of notes…

 

I didn’t understand. I barely took any notes. Then looking at the picture I /actually/ sent. I was mortified. There in Sam’s hands was my ass. At least a picture of it.

 

To Sam: Please… Just delete it. Here are my actual notes I’ve taken. **attached image**

From Sam: Alright, Dean. I’ll send you the notes before next class.

 

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. I shouldn’t be allowed to text anyone.

\---

The next class I had with Sam was very awkward for me. He had me stay after class. My outfit was pretty provocative, so I was definitely scared. A short black skirt. You could see the ruffle of white and yellow shorts underneath. Yellow is in almost all of my outfits. It’s my favorite color. Today I had black converse and a navy blue sweater. Sam had been checking me out since I walked through the door. I was actually quite flattered. After the class cleared out, Sam gave me smile. “So, Dean, about the picture you sent me--” “Please, I don’t want to get in trouble. I’ll do anything, Mr. Wesson.” I was begging. Something I said appeared to spark Sam’s interest. “Anything?” He asked me and stood from his desk, advancing towards me. I soon felt a pair of lips on my own. I was shocked, but I wasn’t going to not kiss him. The kiss was short-lived whenever Sam stepped back towards his chair. “Skype me, tonight? I’ll text you when, and my username.” He leaned closer and kissed my cheek. “See ya later, Dean.” “Bye Mr. Wess- Sam.” I said and walked away slowly, looking back at Sam. His eyes didn’t meet mine. Just my butt. Like he hadn’t already seen it before. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

\---

There I sat. The computer on my lap. Phone in my hand. It felt so wrong, but so right at the same time. This was wrong because he’s my /teacher./ It was right because boy did I want it so bad. So I clicked the send button on a text message containing my skype information. I was in a pretty modest outfit for myself. Sam would likely be surprised because of some of the outfits he’s seen me in. But here I was. In sweatpants. /Sweatpants./ Fucking /sweatpants/ were on my lower half. The sweater was to be suspected of me. I love them. But /sweatpants/ are a huge no for me almost all the time. When I’m sick, that’s all I wear. But whenever I’m good and well... My mental breakdown about me in sweatpants was soon interrupted by the sound of Sam calling me. So I plugged in my earbuds, put them in, and answered. Wow… Sam looked good when he wasn’t in his clothes for teaching. Tank tops do him justice!! "So, Dean. Let me explain myself before we really get into this.” And Sam explained himself. Everything. Whenever he was finished, I was very excited with what Sam had in store for me. “Wow, Sam. That is a lot to think about.” “I don’t want you thinking about your answer Dean. I need a yes or a no now, so we can be ready for class on Monday.” I played through every thought I had about it in mind very quickly. “Yes. I will do this.” I said softly to him, and he smirked. “Can you meet up with me tomorrow night?” “Sure where?” I asked and pushed a hand through my hair; I needed a haircut. “There’s a Starbucks near my place? I just want to discuss some things with you further.” I nodded a bit and put my laptop next to me, taking off my sweatpants. The plan was to try and make how much sweating I was doing unnoticeable to Sam. I attempted to get the sweatpants off without Sam noticing. Failure. “Dean, sweetheart, what are you doing? Are you taking your pants off?” I let out a nervous laugh and blushed. “Yeah, it’s very hot in my apartment. My AC doesn’t work very well all the time.” Sam was smirking with his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. “Why are you looking at me like that?” “Pink panties? Very nice.” Sam laughed as I covered my face and practically shoved my laptop away, so he couldn’t see me. “Don’t worry, Dean. They look very cute. Now go to bed, sweetheart. I’ll text you in the morning.” I nodded a bit and pulled the laptop back, letting out a soft noise of frustration. I didn’t want to end the call yet. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sam.” “See ya, De.” With that, the call was ended.

\---

I’m here early. 23 minutes early to be exact. I had already finished my first coffee. It left me pretty cold because I drink iced coffee. The only reason I’m cold is because I’m in shorts in 50 ((ish)) degree weather. My shorts are cute though. High-waisted and a cute crop top. I’m just cute in general. I ordered a hot tea while I waited for Sam still. Soon I could hear the ding of the bell on the door. When I turned my head, I saw Sam. He had on a beanie, //joggers//, and a tank top. Are teachers allowed to own joggers? Is that a thing? He spotted me and walked over, sitting across from me. “How long have you been here?” I checked my phone. I have been here for 40 minutes, so I lied. “10 minutes roughly. I haven’t been waiting long.” He could see right through me. “How long have you /really/ been here, Dean?” “40 minutes..” He groaned at my response. We had brief small talk. Nothing too lively. Eventually he slide his phone over to me. “Fill this out. It’s pretty long, but it’ll help me figure some things out.” I nodded and read over the questions. Boy was I red. Sam kept laughing at my facial expressions. He’d occasionally lean over and kiss the blush along my cheekbones. He had also kissed my jaw a few times, and I of course had to let out some embarrassing whimpers in response. This got a very nice reaction out of Sam. I finished the test rather quickly, giving Sam his phone back. He looked it over and laughed softly. A beautiful sound by the way. “What?” I asked him nervously, and he just looked at me with a toothy grin. “You’re really kinky, Dean. I like it.” I bit my lip and smiled, blushing madly I’ll mention. “Alright, De. Can you stay the night with me tonight, baby? I want to get you started with some things tomorrow." I nodded a bit, processing some things. “But tomorrow is our class?” “Exactly.” He smirked and leaned over to kiss my lips roughly.

\---

I stood on the porch of a small cute house. Sam’s house. It was painted a dull yellow. This made me very happy. I had my backpack slung over my shoulder. It had been about four hours since we parted from the Starbucks. The time was roughly 6:30 PM, suggested by Sam. I pressed the doorbell with an intrigued smile at the quick response. There stood Sam in all his glory. I was welcomed in quickly, greeted with a kiss to the cheek. He led me up the stairs to what I assumed to be his bedroom. “We’ve got a lot of things to discuss.” Sam mentioned then took out a medium sized box from under his bed. I was in it for the long haul.

\---

Sam and I’s discussions from earlier were very sexual. So you can only believe the trouble I’m facing as I watch Sam cook us dinner. He left a pan on the stove, the lid on top of it. Sam was close to me within seconds. I moved into his lap whenever he gestured me over after he sat down. It was a comfortable yet achingly painful spot for me. Straddling him was the last place I wanted to be with my sexual frustration. He slid his hands over my thighs carefully. His fingertips slipping under the short material of my shorts. I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on his shoulder. Sam continued to rub his hand over my lower half, earning small moans from me. It was embarrassing to be completely at his disposal. I was of course in too much pleasure to notice this. Sam’s skillful hands worked their way over the bulge of my shorts. I whimpered softly at the brief contact, causing Sam to let out a low laugh. “You’re so cute like this, Dean. Such a mess for me.” His whispering only made it worse. I was soon rescued by Sam unbuttoning my shorts. “Do you wear panties all the time, De?” He mentioned and I blushed a bright red color. “The only time I don’t is whenever I’m sick.” I mumbled. Boxers were the same thing with sweatpants for me. My thoughts about boxers were quickly interrupted by Sam’s hand around my cock. “You think too much, babyboy.” Sam stated quietly in my ear. I moaned and whimpered as he lazily jerked me off. It wasn’t long before I was cumming. Don’t blame me. I had been achingly hard for about an hour. Sam easily lifted me up and set me on the island counter. He focused on cleaning his hands my a bit of cum off of my panties and shorts. I buttoned my shorts and wrapped my arms around Dean’s neck. As I pressed my face to his neck, he grabbed my hips and lifted me from the counter. He carried me to the living room, setting me on the couch. “Stay here while I finish dinner.” I nodded in understanding and laid on the couch. I ended up dozing off as I laid there for so long.

\---

I was awoken by wet and warm kisses on my neck. Sam’s hot breath against my skin was enough to cause moans to erupt from my throat. “I tried to wake you up for dinner last night, but it’s 7 AM now.” He whispered into my ear and kissed my jaw. Our lips were soon connected. I didn’t know much about this man or why this was all happening. But here I was. Making out with him on his couch. Wait. I was on his bed now. Of course he had to move me. And simultaneously cause me to panic about my location. “Calm down, babyboy, you’re fine. You’re with me.” He mumbled and slowly pulled away from the kiss. I nodded slowly and kissed him again, shortly this time. We both got up lazily, and he just wouldn’t stop looking at me /that/ way. He’d look at me intently for long period of time, and just smile. It was almost creepy. We got changed in front of each other. He’d occasionally drag his hand along newly exposed skin as I undressed. My ass was touched many times. Before I could put on a pair of black panties, he grabbed me. “I’ve got something I want you to wear, but I have to do some stuff before you can have it.” I couldn’t wipe away the large smile that made it’s way to my face. I quickly agreed, and Sam laid me down on my stomach. “You’re so beautiful.” He whispered moreso to himself and he trailed a finger down my back. Sending shivers down my spine, he made his way to my tight hole. I hadn’t had sex in a while. And by a while I mean almost a year. So I was a whimpering mess whenever he pushed a finger inside me. He didn’t stop though. He just continued, rubbing his other hand over my back. Soon I was relaxed enough, and he added another. It was quite painful, but it was a good thing that he just worked my up to three fingers. By the end, he had me a moaning mess across his bed. Sam reached for something from the box he had yesterday. He retrieved a pretty yellow---butt plug? His fingers were replaced with the medium sized butt plug, causing me to whimper since it was smaller than his three fingers. “I want you to keep this in all day.” I nodded and carefully pushed it in a bit further as I stood. Each step I took caused a moan to escape me. It would be a long day. “It vibrates by the way. In class, whenever you get something wrong, I make it stronger, and vise versa.” My eyes went wide as I slipped on my blank panties, yellow mini skirt, and white sweater. It would /definitely/ be a long day. “I’ll also change it based off your behavior, baby boy. Do you understand?” “Yes, I do.” I said and blushed. I let out a long moan whenever I sat to put my shoes on. “Be a good boy for, daddy, baby. You’ll get something I special.”

\---

Here I sat. My usual spot in the classroom. I’m sitting on my jacket to sort of prevent the hard chair from pushing the plug into me harder. It has been a long morning with Sam’s evil grins at me. He has been torturing me /all/ morning. Sam proceeded to call on my quite a bit. Mainly because I’m usually the only one to raise my hand. From all of my nerves, I’ve been answering wrong. I’m surprised that no one has noticed me falling apart in my seat. My hole is /destroyed/. I’ve came twice, and the plug is currently on the highest setting. I’m bound to hit the third time soon. Class is almost over thankfully. Sam notices the familiar twitching of my thighs. This is only the fourth time he’s seen it, but he’s catching on quickly. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip to keep me from letting out a strangled whimper. There we go. Third time. “Alright, class is dismissed. I’ll see you guys on Friday. Your essays are due Monday before you come into class. Please E-Mail them to me.” Once the class cleared out, I let my body fall over onto my desk. Sam shut his classroom door and locked. I let out quiet moans and my entire body shook. “Fuck” was all I could repeat as pleasure, which was quickly turning to pain, wracked my body. I whimpered and whined, gripping at my sweater. My body continued to tremble even after Sam turned it off. “You’re so beautiful, Dean. A beautiful mess.” He said softly and I suddenly felt a hand on my back. “That was basically torture.” I mumbled to him, and he just responded with a few kisses to my cheek. “If you think kisses will make me feel better…” I whined a bit as he pressed a kiss to my neck. I hate the affect he has on me. “You’re right.” I mumbled and pressed my lips to his. He held my chin firmly and sat on my desk. I slowly sat up to kiss him better. Bad idea. A terrible noise erupted from me. Groan? Moan? Whimper? Yup. All of those. The plug shifted awkwardly and put me through /a lot/ of pain. “Oh, baby. Let me take you home, so you can get cleaned up and comfy.” I nodded and let Sam help me up, more awful noises leaving my body. Sam and I walked to the parking lot, and we got into his car. He let me lay in the backseat, so I wasn’t uncomfortable. Sam carried me into his house and laid me on his bed. Undressing me was a process. Soon enough I was naked, and I felt gross. I was sweaty and had my own cum over parts of my stomach and thighs. Sam cleaned me up with a damp, warm rag and carefully eased the plug out of my hole. He let out a soft sigh. “I’m sorry, Dean. I didn’t know I’d have to use it so much.” I nodded a bit and breathed heavily. The emptiness was enough to make we whine and whimper. I was in a lot of pain, but I wasn’t gonna tell Sam that. Sam grabbed the overnight bag that I brought with me last night and took out clothes from it. I saw him set aside a pair of panties, my pajama shorts and a tank top. He helped me get dressed, then got changed himself. We laid tangled together for what felt like hours. His fingertips dragging along my body, and him rubbing my back occasionally. This. This is what I’ve wanted for a while. “Do I get something special?” I mumbled with a small smirk. “I was good for daddy, right?” It was weird calling someone daddy. I’ve never done it before, but it seemed so fluid for me. I had no issue calling him it since he seemed to like it. He smiled sheepishly at me. “I don’t know, baby. You’re already pretty fucked out.” “Do you want something special?” I asked sweetly and looked up at him. “Sure, baby, but I don’t really deserve anything.” I pushed our lips together, kissing him slowly. “Well, something special for both of us then. We go out to dinner tonight?” Sam slowly nodded and gave me /that/ look. It made me all blushy and gross. He kissed my cheeks and nodded slightly. “Sounds wonderful." Sam spoke softly to me and slid a hand over my ass. I winced and whimpered softly, causing him to quickly take his hand away. “I’m sorry, baby. Just get some rest. You look really tired. I’ll be right here when you wake up.” I nodded a bit and snuggled closer to him. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was Sam kissing my face gently. He’s got me smitten.

\---

Sam and I were sitting at his desk in his office. That’s what he used his spare bedroom for. We weren’t really sitting in separate chairs… I’ve been getting used to this whole being a clingy hoe thing. So here I am. In Sam’s lap instead of the other chair. He had a few papers spread out in front of this. “Okay, so these basically explain what kind of deal we’re going to be making with this situation.” I nodded along and skimmed over the words. “This is explaining that you’ll end the semester with a passing grade as long as you follow these terms.” Sam flipped over the page. There were a /lot/ of rules or terms. Whatever you wanna call them. He rubbed my hips and talked to me about the important ones. I’m not allowed to masturbate alone. I have to ask Sam for help. /Always/ Despite our deal, I still have to try hard in Sam’s class. I’m not allowed to tell anybody about our relationship until the semester is over. I must tell Sam if I’m ever uncomfortable. Some basic consent things. This is a very weird thing to me. Sam handed me his pen. “If you agree to these things, sign at the bottom. If you don’t agree, tell what you don’t agree with--” He was going to continue, but he stopped talking once he noticed that I was signing the paper. Sam pressed a few kisses to the base of my neck. I was a giggling mess in seconds. The base and back of my neck are very ticklish. This all felt so good. Right. It made me feel wonderful. Sam made me feel wonderful. I’m excited to see where we go. The only thing I’m hoping for is that after the semester, Sam won’t be done with me. This contract only lasts for the semester, so he could drop me like that. I hope he doesn’t. He’s made me feel too happy to do that. I can only hope, though.

\---

It’s November now. My short skirts and shorts have been put away for some time. Sam misses seeing my legs all the time. He’s stuck to seeing me in tight jeans and boots. We’ve been going pretty well. I stay at his place a lot because I’ve gotten to the point where it’s hard to stay away for a day. But this cold autumn air reminds me that winter is coming. The end of the semester is coming. I try not to think about it ever. Sam doesn’t know that whenever I space out whenever we’re having a good time that that is what I’m thinking about. He doesn’t know a damn thing about my worries. I don’t want him to. So. This is a where a smile comes into play and I just live. I don’t restrict myself from falling hopelessly in love with this man. I just prepare myself for heartbreak. Whether it comes or not, I’m prepared. So. That is what I’m doing. Putting on my smile as I walk into his classroom 30 minutes early like usual whenever I actually stay at my place. He smiles brightly and quickly gets up to pull me into a tight embrace after I shut the door. Sam smells like peppermint and strawberries. A weird summer and Christmas sort of mix. I like it though. He kisses me gently, and I can’t help but relax into him. I didn’t realize I had a death grip on his shirt. It was like I was kissing him for the final time. “Baby, what’s wrong?” He whispered and rubbed a hand over my back. “Nothing. I’m fine.” I said softly and he started to undo the buttons of my coat. Sam let out a long sigh and slipped off my coat. He dragged me over to his desk and sat down, pulling me into his lap. I nestled myself against the warmth of his chest. “Talk to me.” He said simply and dragged his fingers along my spine. “I’m scared.” That’s all I could manage. “Scared of what?” “Us. Losing you.” I mumbled into his neck, and his grip tightened around me. “Why would you think you’d lose me?” He had a lot of worry to his voice and it just made me choke a sob. I wasn’t crying though. “The contract. It goes until the end of the semester. You’ll be done with me by then, and I won’t even be close to being done with you.” It all came out so fast. The words. My tears. It all happened so fast. “Dean, don’t think for a second that I’d be done with you because of that stupid contract. It’s just a thing so you pass my class.” He let out a dry laugh with no real humorous meaning behind it. “You get heavily distracted by me, and I don’t want you to fail a class I know you can pass.” I thought a bit about his words. “Then why have a contract with so many rules and so sexual?” “I’m not gonna give you a passing grade for free, and we are both consenting adults who can have fun.” I smiled a bit and pressed my face to Sam’s shoulder. “Dean, promise me that whenever you get upset like this, you’ll talk to me?” I slowly nodded. “I promise, Sammy.” “Good, now I have a surprise for you.” Sam opened the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out a Victoria Secret bag. He immediately handed it to me. “Not all of it is Victoria Secret stuff, their bags are just cute, so I thought I’d put everything into it.” Sam was talking quickly. He seemed nervous. I pressed my lips to his briefly. “I have no idea what is in here, but I love it already.” I looked into the bag and started to take things out, setting them on his desk. There were three pairs of lace panties. “Those are mainly for my enjoyment.” He winked at me, causing me to blush. I seem to do that a lot whenever I’m with him. I pulled out a fake daisy flower crown and immediately put in on my head. Since I’ve been meaning to buy one, I got very excited. There were at least eight pairs of fuzzy socks for the winter in the bag. Then there was an envelope. On it in pretty cursive, Sam’s handwriting, it said, “4 Months” I opened and in it was a house key. “I’m not really asking you to move in with me, but since you’re at my house a lot. Thought I’d give you a key. Unless you completely /desire/ to move in.” Sam laughed a bit, and I kissed him. It was a sloppy kiss because I got him mid laugh. This caused our teeth to hit, but neither of us cared. We just laughed a little and continued to kiss. I put a lot of passion into that one kiss. It was basically me trying to tell him I loved him without speaking the words. It’d probably be another two months before I tell him I’ve fallen hopelessly in love. Don’t want to scare him away. That’s whenever the kiss ended, and so did my thoughts. “So, move in or just spare key?” “We’ll see where we go from here.” I said softly and laid my head on his chest. Sometimes I wish I could control the things that come out of my mouth, but my brain just doesn’t get the memo. This is one of those times. Because I couldn’t shut up. I had to say something. Anything other than this. But nope. My brain and mouth want me to kill myself. Why did I have to say it? Why? “I love you.” I had to say something. Anything other than this. But nope. My brain and mouth want me to kill myself. Why did I have to say it? Why? “I love you.” “Y-You what?” Sam asked and went wide-eyed. I’m fucked. “I love you, Sam.” “No, no, no, no, no… You can’t, Dean. No. No.” I felt like I could cry. So I did. “Yes, Sam. I can.” He quickly started to get up causing me to fall. Directly onto my ass. If I wasn’t embarrassed enough already. “I can’t do this, Dean. I can’t have you falling for me. Give me the contract.” I cried and pulled it from my backpack, shakily handing it to him. He put it through his shredder. “I’m gonna have to ask you to excuse yourself from class today. I will E-Mail you assignments.” Everything was going by so fast. I got up and slung my bag over my shoulder, grabbing my coat. Once I got out into the fresh cold air, I let out a gross sob. I didn’t care who saw me. Who heard me. Everything needed to come out. I threw the daisy flower crown to the ground, stomping it into the snow. I immediately started to regret it and stopped, picking it up off the ground. As I walked to my car, I clutched it to my chest. “I’m so sorry, Sam. I’m sorry I couldn’t be better.” I just kept mumbling to no one in particular. All I could wish for is that Sam would come out and hug me from behind the way he would and tell me that things were okay. That wouldn’t be happening.

\---

Class with Sam has been hell. He doesn’t even look at me. I feel like people have noticed that something is going on. I’m not answering questions. Whenever I do raise my hand, Sam doesn’t ever call on me. A girl asked me if Sam and I hated each other. I simply told her, “I don’t hate him, but God knows how he feels about me.” This is the third time that tears have involuntarily fallen onto my notes. It’s hard. Seeing the man you fell in love with three times a week is so hard. Whenever he doesn’t love you back, that’s when it’s hard. Being horny is what hurts most though. Remembering how he touched me. Remembering how he was the only one that could get me begging for more after I had clearly had enough. It hurts. The semester is finally over, and it’s finally Christmas time. He was going to take me away for Christmas holiday. It’s hard to get over someone that made you feel so good. We were so happy and alive. Four months was all it took to make me feel good. About life. About myself. About love. It was all taken away from me, though. I fucked up. I fucked up my happiness. Someday, I’ll get it back. Sam or not. I’ll be happy again.

\---

Starbucks. The thing keeping me from dying. Mainly because I found out that I have a second semester class with Sam. It’s going well though actually. I made a friend. His name is Castiel, but that’s too abnormal for me. So Cas. He’s cute and kind and funny and all things in between. He’s definitely not Sam, but I like him. We’re going out on our second date tonight. After class we’re going for lunch. Sam has been eyeing me and Cas whenever we leave together. I don’t know if it makes me feel good or uncomfortable. He’s recognizing that I’m a human whom exists. But he seems jealous. It irritates me a bit. He can’t just act like he wants me whenever I’m moving on. I glanced at him, and we briefly made eye contact. Cas grabbed my hand quickly whenever he realized what was happening. I had told him about Sam and I before. For good reason, I never told him about that contract. Things are really tough. Castiel has tried pressing me for more about what happened with Sam. I don’t know what to tell him. I can’t just tell the guy I’m dating that I was fucked multiple times in the classroom in which we met. Lunch with Cas didn't go well. Sam was the only thing on my mind. Cas noticed I wasn't completely there. He said that we wouldn't work if I was just gonna keep thinking about someone else. God. Things are only getting harder. I have to deal with two ex-boyfriends in one room every week. School is officially the only place I hate.

\---

I bumped into Sam at Starbucks today. It wasn't awkward. But God did it hurt. To know that he was doing so great. To know that he didn't need me there. To know that he was over me. I need him more than ever. Losing my mind is not a thing I like to do. I know that it's happening because I'm going to call him. Tell him everything. I know that I won't get anything from it, but I have to do it. So now I sit on my bed, phone in hand and his contact displayed.

I took a deep breathing. Then I pressed my thumb down onto the call button. Abort mission. I almost hung up. It wasn't until I heard the soft, tired hello. That's whenever I decided to see what time it was. 2:43 AM. Oops? “Hello? I swear to god if it's those stupid fucking kids, I'm gonna turn this number to police and file a harassment charge or something.” I laughed at this. Sam was getting called by random kids regularly. “I'm not a stupid fucking kid.” I said softly then I heard quite a bit of shifting then a clearer voice. “Dean? Is that you?” “Yeah.. It's me.” I heard more shifting and a soft thud. “Did you just fall?” Sam groaned. “N-No.” “You liar.” I let out a laugh and I could practically hear Sam's smile whenever he let out a soft sigh. This hurt my heart. A lot. He coughed a bit and hummed softly. “So, why are you calling at 2:45 in the morning?” “I just wanted to talk to you about things. I miss you a lot, and I’m so sorry that I’m bothering you so late. Also, I’m sorry for waking you up. You probably hate me right now, and I’m definitely not making it any better-” “Dean. I miss you, too. So much. You and that boy have been killing me…” He trailed off, mumbling things I couldn’t quite understand. “What?” “I miss you, Dean. A lot. I fucked up. I fucked up bad.” I smiled and laid back on my bed. “You didn’t fuck up, Sammy. It’s okay.” “No. Geez. I feel so awful for hurting you, Dean.” “I’m fine, Sam.” Things just felt so tense, and I hated it. “Would you like to go out on a date with me? Doesn’t have to be anything serious. I’m not asking for anything more than a date.” I couldn’t help but smile. “I’d like that. It better be special” “It will be. Now go to bed, you asshole. I’m so tired, and I have to get up super early to teach a class. I’ll text you tomorrow, now I’m going to bed.” I smiled even wider and kept myself from squealing like some schoolgirl. “Alright. Goodnight, Sammy.” “Goodnight, Dean.” I love you.

\---

I stepped into the classroom early for the first time since November. Sam texted me this morning and asked me to come by. For some reason, I agreed. I looked around that classroom. Nothing. He wasn’t here. No Sam. Just the rows of desks and Sam’s desk at the front of the classroom. I smoothed out my skirt then went to sit at Sam’s desk, waiting for him. I sat there for a good 15 minutes picking little fuzzies off my tights before Sam was here. “Fuck. I’m so sorry, Dean. Traffic was so bad.” “It’s fine.” I mumbled. I just felt like shit. Being here early only for him to show up late. “No. It’s not, Dean. Just-” Then he looked at me. That stupid adoring grin on his face. Fuck. I missed it. “You look very cute today.” He said softly and walked over to me, taking a seat on his desk still facing me. “Thank you.” “Would it be terribly wrong of me to kiss you right now? We haven’t really discussed any of this. Us.” “Just kiss me, Sammy.” I laughed a bit and he pressed his lips to mine quickly. Yup. I missed this the most. How he kissed me. Sam always seems to kiss me like it’ll be that time he kisses me. It makes everything better. He pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine. “I’ve missed you.” Those words made me hurt. I didn’t know that for so long. And now that I do, I’m kinda mad that I didn’t know sooner. Just because it would have stopped me from driving myself crazy. “I’ve missed you, too.”

\---

“Jesus fucking Christ, Dean!” He laughed at me as I attempted to carry the heaviest box by myself. “What? I’m just trying to help.” I smiled cheekily at him and he came to take the box from me. “I know, but you are going to kill yourself if you keep doing this.” I looked around the big empty house. Correction. I looked around /our/ big empty house. This is where we are gonna start a family. Sam set the box down on the kitchen island and came over to me. “What are you thinking about?” “Everything.” I said to him softly. He grabbed me gently and turned me to face him. “I love you.” He whispered to me. “I know.” I whispered back and kissed him gently.


End file.
